Isn't it about time we English had a haka of our own?

Did you see the Tongan Haka when the team faced England in the Rugby World Cup on Friday? It was all a bit “up close and personal”, wasn’t it? Terrifying for the England team and a bit embarrassing, too – I mean what do you do while a bunch of big men are dancing ferociously in your face? I think the haka is wonderful – and what a powerful psychological tool. Imagine if we all adopted that approach to conflict. It would certainly liven up the start to Quiz Night at the local pub. And when two businessmen meet to hammer out a deal, just think of the effect if would have if one of them were to fling his tie over his shoulder and crouch down for a spot of in-your-face dancing. Come to think of it, is the haka actually a fair tactic if only one team performs it? Shouldn’t every team have something up their sleeve to redress the balance? Personally I’d love to see the England team watch impassively while their Pacific island opponents perform their scariest haka – then whip out some sticks and handkerchiefs and break into a Morris Dance routine. It might not strike fear into their rivals’ hearts, but it would certainly disconcert them a little.