Dancing, chatting, twirling his tail: how men win over the ladies

If there's one thing we all have in common - animals, politicians everyone - it's the mating ritual. Every species develops its own way to win over the opposite sex. And we all do it differently - though hopefully with the same result.

The hippopotamus

Hippos attract their mate by urinating and defecating simultaneously, then twirling their tails like a propellor to spread the proceeds far and wide. Irresistible.

The flatworm

An obscure Australian species of hermaphrodite flatworm engages in a sort of Gladiators' match with their penises before mating. The first to stab the other with its penis wins the privilege of injecting the sperm, while the loser lays the eggs.

The human

The male of this species uses a mixture of alcohol-induced bravado, dance moves and chat-up lines to attract the female.

In fact, is this still true? Do people simply add each other as a Top Friend or "poke" each other on Facebook to show they're interested these days? It's a long time since I've been chatted up but I have to say that the death of the chat-up line as we knew it wouldn't be a great loss to humanity. Here are some particularly underwhelming ones:

• "You have lovely eyes. They sort of match your knees."


• "Would you like to come back to my place to sleep with me? 'Course if I really fancied you, I'd ask you to dinner first."


• "I can't help noticing that you have lovely teeth."


• "I thought I'd come and have a chat with you since you've been eyeing me up all night."

Yes, they were all used on me and no, I won't tell you which ones worked.

Talking of underwhelming chat-up lines, here's a video you might like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3OnUz1QZXs