'Tis the season for pesky round robin letters

"Well, it’s almost exactly 12 months since we sent you our last irritatingly smug ‘round robin' letter, so here we go again. When I say 'we' I am of course referring to that collection of supremely talented people that make up our wonderful, golden family – so much better in every way than yours. And since we’re so busy and lead such incredibly full lives, we don’t have the time to edit this letter even slightly so that it appears to be directed entirely at you, and not to a ridiculously long list of our friends, relatives and acolytes. So, where to begin? Well, in January our eldest, Craig, was accepted by Cambridge (actually ‘clamoured-for’ would be more apt since so many other universities wanted him). In February my darling husband reached the Top 100 Rich List at last, and in March Suzi represented the county in hockey, netball and hurling. Or was it curling? Anyway, the rest of the year raced by in a blur of successes, triumphs, social whirls and the occasional good work. So that’s it for another year. Don’t bother to reply – we wouldn’t read it anyway since it would doubtless be filled with drivel about your own pitifully inadequate lives. Oh, and happy new year by the way."